Maybe some good can come from Church History
Many of you know the struggle I had with my recent Church History paper. I left it to the last minute, (no surprise there) and ran out of time. My 3,000 word paper ended up being 1,800 words, and it was not the most refined paper shall we say. I was sad about this for a number of reasons:
1. I do not like to do assignments poorly, especially when I know I am capable of doing them well, and I know, had I had more time, I could have done very well on this one.
2. I didn't think about asking for an extention because by the time I clued in that I could use one, I thought it would be too late. This is only to have someone tell me that they asked for an extention the day of! and got one. I'm happy for them, really I am. I just feel sick, because it makes me think that had I been smart enough to ask, I could have gotten one too. (I had just as much of a case for one as they did). I guess I just wasn't following the "Ask and ye shall recieve" policy, and I take full responsibility for that. It's just too bad is all.
3. I really enjoyed my topic. Ryan actually suggested it; although he only did that because he thought it would be cool if I got someone to re-enact the deaths. But when I got to the library to actually pick a topic, I thought, "Why couldn't I do martyrs? They would be interesting (minus the death scenes of course). And so it was. I did end up finding a wealth of interesting stories about people who endured such horrible things, yet managed to continue to serve and praise God through it all. I was brought to tears by some of the accounts I read, and I longed to delve in further. To hear more of the people who made the ultimate sacrifice. It blessed, and at the same time convicted me. It is so easy to neglect praising God, and I have it good. These people could praise him through the worse of circumstances. I was humbled. I've been struggling lately with giving God my all, and consciously living for him every day. I have to ask myself, "If I won't give up my will, would I really give up my life?" The quotes in one of the books I had (Jesus Freaks: dc Talk and The Voice of the Martyrs) were particularly powerful. Here's one that really challenged me:
"My dear Jesus, my Savior, is so deeply written in my heart, that I feel confident, that if my heart was to be cut open and chopped to pieces, the name of Jesus would be written on every piece." ~ Ignatius. A student under John. Devoured by wild animals in Rome. 111AD
I almost don't know how to respond to that. I feel lacking when I read that statement. Lacking in my passion, lacking in my commitment. I need to change something. I said that this assignment was going to be a wake up call to me that I can no longer procrastinate the way I have been and expect to do well. I have decided to change. And I think this should be a wake up call for me spiritually as well. I can't keep living the way I have been. I need to change. Maybe some good can come from Church History.
1. I do not like to do assignments poorly, especially when I know I am capable of doing them well, and I know, had I had more time, I could have done very well on this one.
2. I didn't think about asking for an extention because by the time I clued in that I could use one, I thought it would be too late. This is only to have someone tell me that they asked for an extention the day of! and got one. I'm happy for them, really I am. I just feel sick, because it makes me think that had I been smart enough to ask, I could have gotten one too. (I had just as much of a case for one as they did). I guess I just wasn't following the "Ask and ye shall recieve" policy, and I take full responsibility for that. It's just too bad is all.
3. I really enjoyed my topic. Ryan actually suggested it; although he only did that because he thought it would be cool if I got someone to re-enact the deaths. But when I got to the library to actually pick a topic, I thought, "Why couldn't I do martyrs? They would be interesting (minus the death scenes of course). And so it was. I did end up finding a wealth of interesting stories about people who endured such horrible things, yet managed to continue to serve and praise God through it all. I was brought to tears by some of the accounts I read, and I longed to delve in further. To hear more of the people who made the ultimate sacrifice. It blessed, and at the same time convicted me. It is so easy to neglect praising God, and I have it good. These people could praise him through the worse of circumstances. I was humbled. I've been struggling lately with giving God my all, and consciously living for him every day. I have to ask myself, "If I won't give up my will, would I really give up my life?" The quotes in one of the books I had (Jesus Freaks: dc Talk and The Voice of the Martyrs) were particularly powerful. Here's one that really challenged me:
"My dear Jesus, my Savior, is so deeply written in my heart, that I feel confident, that if my heart was to be cut open and chopped to pieces, the name of Jesus would be written on every piece." ~ Ignatius. A student under John. Devoured by wild animals in Rome. 111AD
I almost don't know how to respond to that. I feel lacking when I read that statement. Lacking in my passion, lacking in my commitment. I need to change something. I said that this assignment was going to be a wake up call to me that I can no longer procrastinate the way I have been and expect to do well. I have decided to change. And I think this should be a wake up call for me spiritually as well. I can't keep living the way I have been. I need to change. Maybe some good can come from Church History.
posted by Sarah Beth at 1:32 AM
2 Comments:
Yay for good! I love you! That was a wicked inspiring post :)
Yes it was. I really enjoyed that, Sarah. Thank you.
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